Showered!

We had a wonderful time with Jamie Lockhart and Jessica Larson at their shower duet. Both are about to bless me with boy grandbabies in the next few months. Peggy threw a shower at S's home and it was fun! It was attended by a lovely group of ladies and they came armed with lovely gifts. I felt especially loved somehow in the midst of it all. I appreciated the gifts given for the "boys" and the blessings that came with the abundant gifts.
We had many kids at the shower as this home is always full of kids and they are so appreciated and bring joy to all of us even in their most frustrating times.
I was most blessed with being able to see my two daughters for the weekend. Actually I had to share them as others were just as tickled to see them. Jamie with her big baby belly and Jessi Lynn who is skinny as a racing rabbit. Just hugging them felt so good and the time after the shower with Mike and Jessica hanging out eating Pizza with S and Eliana and the girls was just special! Ihovered at the edge because it made my heart happy to just gaze on them all together. Wish I and A had been there with the kids and Lance too. Well, not to go on and on but then a couple days ago I got some lovely pictures to choose from online of Beck and Evie. Sigh what is a gramma to do? Just enjoy them when I can I guess.
The more messy areas of my life fade to the back when I am able to just sink into any moment with my kids and their families and spouses. Jack enjoyed them all too even though it is hard for him to be away from the doll house as it makes him nervous. It was a good time!

Clarity

Sometimes things are blurry for a long time. You are just not sure of something that others see so clearly. Trying to survive each day is hard enough without figuring out someone else's motives or discerning their tactics. I have never been good at deciding others motives. So I have been around people over the years who have really fooled me. I do not pretend that I am any better at this today than I was in the past. However I do know the scriptural principles better as each year passes and that helps me to choose my behavior carefully and try to go directly to the point when I see that it is time.

When my gifts are assessed for within the church I come out high in "pastoring" others and believe me it is a small group of sheep. I do not pretend that I am ready to take on what others have done and become a real minister of the gospel. However I do lead and guide a few and I try to be real above all else. I hate pretense and artifice and prefer real any day so I try to stay real. Oh that doesn't mean I don't wear make-up or enjoy a time of avoiding my daily grind by taking on a day of being really away. Those type of pretense I can go with. I mean the kind that is acting all religious and pompous and being a flaming hypocrite. I hate that and don't want to be that. I am really not a perfected human. I am 62 years old and still a work in progress. Some might even say "a piece of work" in progress!

My goal for the future is to keep gaining clarity. I want to have more discernment based on scripture and not that ephemeral floating around above your head gift that some claim. I may get involved with some folks that disturb my peace and have not got pure motives but I want to realize it sooner and deal with it clean and with grace.

One thing for sure. The pictures of my grandbabies in St. Louis are beautiful. I still have enough clarity to brag up my babies!

My Life in Scenes

Morning squinted through crunchy eyes, was that sunshine? I rose slipping on socks and taking the dog to the back door listening to her tapdance on the hard floors. As I passed the table Jack smacked his lips appreciating the corn flakes and milk that he was downing. Soon Pam came through the living room arch folding the screen and setting it off to the side. She bore a smile and a loud greeting to Jack so he could hear her. I shut and locked the bathroom door and sat to pee and awaken. When I finished I located a pristine white face cloth and held it to my eyes with steaming hot water. The crunchies were melting and I was able to see my face. My right cheek had fossils imprinted from the pillow case. Aging is for all no matter how you perceive it or receive it. I embrace the changes with wry humor and great anticipation of increased wisdom and insight.
"Coffee" cries my very essence and so I leave the small sanctuary and grind my beans. The french press waits my tending it, and I pour out the old grounds and run hot water through it and the filter over and over til it suits then the ground beans go in. Jenna had turned on the water before she left so I soon had a cup of lovely organic coffee with stevia and creamer. It was just the right strength and taste. This would be a good morning. Pam was talking to Jack and telling him what was on the agenda for the day. I spoke little but hummed a stanza over and over as I enjoyed the headlines of the crumpled paper from yesterday and the coffee. I had recently attempted to cut back on my coffee comsumption and it only made each sip more delectible. Sigh.
I studied my husband's face as he listened to Pam and now and again would look at me. He seemed smaller and less vital than the week before. Soon he was asking questions about the very subject Pam had just covered. "Where are you going and who will be with me?" I located the white board and put it in clear black on the white. First the date and day of the week, then Jenna's schedule, then mine and then Pam's with any highlites of special activities for him. His next question was "When do we go to the chiropractor? Do we go today?" I answer somewhat impatiently but knowing it did not good to expect him to remember."Tomorrow and a shower too. You wash up today okay?"
Later I looked at my calendar to see what day we go for a shot to the clinic. His B-12 shot only took about 20 minutes of time but he liked to go to the treatment room. Not until the 3rd of next month. Okay, Tim should arrive soon and Pam and I then go out for a few errands. She to put in an application and I to a list and a bill to pay. I got dressed and put on my make-up. The fossil lines are less noticeable now. I must have slept really hard. Quickly I threw in a load of towels and took a load of Jenna's stuff out of the dryer and laid them on her bed in the living room. The blinds were open and Price is Right blared on the tv. Pam was watching it with him and running a commentary to try to engage him. I never do that. Detest those game shows usually and that one in particular. This guy was not Bob Barker.
Outside was my dirty Buick waiting for me to clean the floors out. We spend so much time in that car and it shows. I grab a bag and head out to make it less objectionable. I would dump it in the trash but Jenna forgot to take it to the street while I was gone so..I tuck it in amongst the bags overflowing the dumpster. Life gets so complex when we don't do the simple things that make it work better. Things like dishes, wiping the bathroom mirror, folding the clothes as they come out of the dryer and putting them away, taking out the meat from the freezer the night before, dusting, and taking out the trash. I know it is easy to get too busy or make an excuse. I lived that way for years and played catch up. On occasion I still do for things like putting the mail away right when I get it so later I am not searching for a bill I can't find or putting my glasses in the case instead of some wierd off the wall place I will not remember like on top of a stack of magazines where they blend in. Sigh
Off we go. Tim is with Jack and we have 3 hours to accomplish all the list. We do it laughing and with small periods of silence. I try not to think of all the homework I have yet to do and the laundry that is still in the bedroom. The day is well in hand. A day like none other and a day like all days.

What a day!

I slept less than usual last night due to a toy I left in Tisha's room. About 3 AM she woke up and began playing with a musical electronic toy and S couldn't sleep so she went in and took away the toy. We had a tantrum that lasted over an hour and sleep was elusive til she quit.

Morning came as usual and the schedule was unchanged. Up and off to the chiro I went. Breakfast with Jenna and Jack who had cards and tokens for me. I had some for then as well so it was good. Then raced back to work as more kids were to arrive.

Yeah! Good to see Nary and Metrie. Edward was cute but wayyyyyy spoiled and he and Tish are like oil and water at times. Tish doesn't like competition. So their mom was to get off at 5 PM but here it is 11PM and I just got back from delivering them. Lots of delays for her to get off work then no ride home so eventually I delivered the kids to Wendy's on the South side as she didn't really want to go home herself so took the kids and I made my way home with Tish.

Karah is off at a friends for the night. Well, bad enough I am dead tired and my eyes feel full of glue but on the way home hit traffic from the Alliant Energy Center then a fire at a factory on E. Wash and then the darn gate fell apart again. I had to fix it to let the dog out in the pitch dark. GRRRRR! No, WAAAAAh!

I am so ready to sleep and forget doing homework. I am so done. Dog has been out. The cake is made and frosted with Kool Whip and the house is destroyed and the sink is full of dishes. I just needed to blog before I start cleaning up and getting my sorry self into bed. Tish is down. She actually slept all the way in the car. Oh and did I mention the van hadn't been run since Christmas vacation and no seats were in so I had to install all. Not my cuppa.

So basically tonight was an effort in patience and fortitude. I will live but sometimes I wonder what is up with the stuff that happens to me? Got a clue leave a comment.

Fragile Handle with Care!

Relationships are built. Some are fast projects that seem to form quickly and last for awhile. Others are forged over time. Some are light and airy things that fly in the sky like a kite. Others are sturdy and solid with unspoken terms of loyalty. Some get built and rebuilt as the participants adjust and respond to one another.


But I have learned that when some lines are crossed and some words are spoken then what took a long time to build is destroyed in no time at all. A careless word, a bad day, a selfish motive, an unthinking action can do what a demo crew would do. It can trash what was, demolish the structure and leave a place where sometimes nothing can ever be built again.


So in light of that may I suggest that relationships be handled with care and sensitivity. May apologies be given humbly and accepted with grace. May words be straight and kind with no games or manipulations. I also suggest that you consider your motives as you build relationships.


You might want to consider "what is your intent for that relationship and of what value do you place on the bond you have with that person?" I am not saying that relationships should not come to an end. Some are not worth saving. They are unstable and built for wrong reasons but still...take some time and consider. Count the value and the cost.

Millie Died Today

Millie was my brother's faithful and unique dog that he had for over 15 years. She recently developed Cushings Disease and began to fail. I was fortunate to say goodbye to her last Saturday and I had tears in my eyes as she was part of our lives for a good long time. My son's dog Hobbz is nearly the same age, maybe 6 months younger and he is slowing down.
Millie was a constant companion to my brother all these years and the thing about dogs is they just love their masters. Millie has been a good companion to my mother as well. She called me to tell me about Millie slipping away this morning. John has kept vigil for a week or more with Millie in a chair a lot of the time. She was not in great pain but just lost energy and vitality. My brother is taking Millie's death like anyone who loved their dog a lot. I am sad for the loss.
She was quite a dog. She wanted to be the leader of the pack and wouldn't let other dogs be in charge. She loved to hunt and be outside but had every chair and sofa in Mom's house full of hair so felt right at home there. I will think of her chasing rabbits and coming for a pat when I arrived to visit. I will think of John's deep love for her and his love of dogs. She will be missed!