Mother's Day Thoughts

I have loved being a mother and mothering other people's kids too. I am not certainly any kind of expert. All I learned was from reading, watching, doing, failing and feeling the conviction of the Lord. I am not the Proverbs 31 woman but I enjoy working at being better. I am unable to affect my own kids and the"extra's" lives very much now. That is as it should be. Kids grow up and you release them to be who they are.
I see that it takes time to disengage from "the mother" if she is critical or hangs on too tightly. Both of those styles of mothering have put unfair stress on the adults that want to go forth and live the life they dream of. I bless my children often in my prayers and I talk myself out of interfering very much. I am proud of the married partners my kids have chosen. Troubles come and go in all their lives. The inevitable fights occur and opinions diverge even within loving relationships. I pray for peace and the fruits of the spirit to grow in them all.
I think the kids that have come from these unions are precious gifts of God and I will and do pray for them with fervor and spend time with them as it is allowed. I had the best of grammas and want to be a lasting memory of love to my grandkids. I just want to be a fun gramma with love that is eternal.
My kids have usually have lived far away as adults and that is a heart crusher at times but I raised them to be independent and to follow their dreams with God in charge. So I must release them graciously to do just that.
I admit that I love hearing from them. I crave those text messages and e-mails and the phone calls or notes in the mail. I sometimes get sad that they are so far off. My arms ache to hug them. That is just the mother's heart in me. When I fear for a child I give them to God. This is right to do and I do it when I feel the worry and concerns come. I do it often at times.
Mother's Day? A day to honor the mother who gave you life or gave you wings. I like the theory but it just is not the whole answer. I want my kids to rise up and call me blessed of course but not just with a hallmark card or a gift. Those are lovely and they touch my heart deeply however a true blessing may come after I die when they speak of me. Then no one will stop the truth from bubbling out from one to another. I will not hear it, I will not be there but it would be nice to hear the blessing words and not just the stories of the crazy things I have done in my life. And I do admit those wild and funny stories will surround me when I am a mere shell in a casket. Our lives follow us even to the grave.
My deepest longing is to have the Father God say "Well done my good and faithful servant!" For that I strive..........