How close are you to being homeless?

Have you ever thought about what makes a person get to a position where they are homeless? I have been on a mission trip to New York where we learned a lot about the homeless and then interacted in a positive fashion with those who were by giving them sandwiches and toiletries late at night when they had found a place to bed down. We found them on park benches, church steps, under bridges, in parks and on the sidewalk on cardboard beds. Many had all their possessions with them in a shopping cart or a backpack with a bedroll. Some were unfriendly and untrusting and many were receptive and friendly. I often wanted to hear their stories but it was not the time or the place. Since then I have asked a lot of questions and discovered many things. About one third of the homeless are dealing with some type of mental illness, about one third have a problem with substance abuse and one third just lost their job or got sick and couldn't pay the bills.
I had some time to rethink this recently as a friend of mine lost her job that she had held for over 5 years. She doesn't drive but was a reliable and well thought of employee until the economic downturn took her out. She is presently on unemployment and unable to pay for a place of her own so she found someone with a house that encouraged her to move in and pay a bit to help out. She gave the woman $200 a month and bought her own food and personal stuff. Unfortunately this lady stopped taking her meds that had kept her even keeled emotionally and she began to flip out. My friend had compassion on her and was a stablizer for the household but alas... the flipouts continued and she became aggressive towards my friend.
So the outcome is my friend was out on the street and unprepared to find an apartment she could afford. This friend is now staying in my tiny house on a trundle bed. There are others who could perhaps have helped but it may have crimped their style or their privacy would have been interrupted or maybe they were afraid. I cannot judge them but I have seen what the street looks like at night. "Not on my watch", as my little Metrie used to say when his brother cried. Her tears touched my heart deeply. Is it optimal? No, obviously not but is it right? Yes.

When things seem unbalanced...

I have noticed that it is easy to be magnamious and helpful to another with a good attitude for a period of time. Then at some point when you may begin to feel taken for granted or for some reason the balance of ability shifts or the situation changes and what was seemingly good becomes a strain or even near impossible. At times you simply get worn down physically or emotionally and are no longer willing to continue giving.

The rethinking of what you thought you could do and what is truly able to be given freely is a good thing to do. The problem comes in how you view yourself and how you are viewed by the recipient when this shift occurs. I believe that I have agreed to do a number of things for others in good faith. I have received help from some others as well. I do not want to hold someone else under a promise that they are no longer able to keep and I want them to be able to be honest about what they can give and what is too much to expect as it changes. I want the same opportunity to rethink what I have agreed to do for others.

I am looking at this not in just one situation but in about 5 of them currently in my life and in the lives of others that I am close to. I am just reflecting on this subject and not planning any major shifts in my choices at the present moment. I am just noticing what happens to us when we give and it is not reciprocated or appreciated by others. The result of this can be resentment.

So all this thought on the subject gives a warning for me and others to be more careful what is agreed to do for others in a surge of compassion and how possibly a person could install checks and balances in their agreements that would keep both parties feeling heard. Contracts are a good idea and may encourage friendly and flexible relationships..